Pinned toot

modern agriculture: everyday I pour 10 trillion gallons of water all over my shitty almond trees I grow in the fucking desert. everyone around me’s wells are dry, but I am wet & choked by algae
me: let’s not do this
modern agriculture: arrest this nerd and give me a tax subsidy

so which lobbying ghoul introduced the phrase "active shooter?" to law enforcement instead of "shooting"

i'm trying to imagine what a non-active shooter would be, like a Home Alone booby trap attached to a gun?

learning that you can bleach white clothes by laying wet white clothes on sunny grass

the sun not only bleaches it, but the grass's photosynthesis is pushing oxygen through the clothes bleaching it as well

Nightmare I forgot to study for a midterm, and I had to go do a home cooking assignment, and holding her hand of someone I used to date on a date that i Would half to cancel

tactical theology was developed by a Semitic man named Josh and his 12 friends about 2000 years ago after figuring out how to direct all sin counter entries to one person and have them die for it

the nursing home missed the scheduled FaceTime with my mom and now they won’t tell us if she’s alright. We can’t visit either even if we’ve been vaxxed either. Told us to call tomorrow...

migrainey so I’m lying in bed and this M83, comfortable to sleep in

it's nice seeing the state of the art medical care in the late 1700s. European hospitals would be death sentences but the advanced hygienic routines from the Muslim world greatly improved survival

why is it when I search yukata, women’s are divided into normal yukata and slutty yukata, yet men’s is just one type? where’s the men’s slutty yukata?

‪I’m researching more about J&J and AstraZeneca. I believe the Chinese vaccines are on a different zodiac and I don’t know much about Russian astrology for Sputnik V‬

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I’ve determined astrologically that air and water signs should take the Moderna vaccine and others should take Pfizer

A Sword fight gave me a gamer’s rash - YouTube

ideally, i want to live somewhere with my current climate where i can safely shoot bottles off a fence and do recreational artillery and airstrikes

in high school, 2 older girls tied me up, put makeup on me, I think a skirt, and were expecting some other reaction besides content indifference

I asked what they were going to do next. Out of ideas they made me watch visual kei bands and let me go

Only 30 mourners are allowed to piss into Prince Philip’s coffin with the queen, which are the top royal bladders?

i've learned that grasshoppers evolved around 250 million years ago, but the first grasses, related to rice, only evolved 100 million years ago

so what did they hop? were just doing it for the love of the game?

she's getting told she's too serious for direct neural link commanding a fleet of "drones" a la Ender's Game

so i don't think it's a twist that these drones aren't what they seem, and everyone looking similar in skin tone, hair and eyes is a racial metaphor

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time to watch 86 Eighty Six, starring our intrepid protagonist, Major Vladilena "Lena" Milizé who makes sure to salute a vase of white lilies every morning which i'm supposed to not make any lesbian inferences from i guess

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