Pinned toot

modern agriculture: everyday I pour 10 trillion gallons of water all over my shitty almond trees I grow in the fucking desert. everyone around me’s wells are dry, but I am wet & choked by algae
me: let’s not do this
modern agriculture: arrest this nerd and give me a tax subsidy

‪This violent floor warping is reduced where there are transverse beams perpendicular to the explosion such as near bulkheads or doors. People in these areas are thrown against walls just the same but can pick themselves up and have to help those reduced to crawling‬

‪an relatively unknown effect of explosions in or on a ship is deck heave. When a shockwave travels through the steel deck moves faster than the human body can withstand, it shatters ankles and legs, disabling people instantly‬

canned or jarred hot dogs are unheard of in America except for Vienna Sausages, which are similar but cut into short finger length chunks.

‪for Euros wondering about “American” hot dogs in cans, jars, or vacuum packs: American hot dogs are typically in vacuum packs with so little brine we barley notice. We also freeze them in the pack to improve shelf life. They taste like bologna‬

‪so how fast can we get Justin Trudeau into wearing a fursuit if we call it a costume ‬

‪alors à quelle vitesse pouvons-nous amener Justin Trudeau à porter une fursuit si nous l'appelons un costume‬

bathroom lights with short timers are violence against IBS havers

‪as if to underscore how old I am, I looked in the mirror and my ahoge is full of white hairs now ‬

‪replacing my sex playlist with all touhou doujin albums ‬

i appreciate Control has a Finnish janitor that keeps saying "perkele"

NYC media scene drama 

‪reluctantly naming my personal nuclear deterrent missile Thrusty McThrustface thanks to an online poll‬

‪getting a dick daguerreotype done, sitting furiously erect for hours while the silver halides develop in my dim parlor room to mercuric fumes ‬

‪i am the definitive voice for this generation’s dipshit Aquarians ♒️ with multiple concussions and a drug problem now GIVE ME A CLASS TO TEACH, NYU 🏫

so creative testing has been completed. we can launch rockets from underwater, and by doing so, we can complete the turn at a reasonable altitude. however the rocket only explodes after the fuel runs out.

going to do some rocket testing in creative mode in modded minecraft if you want to watch

‪soft autumn rains always make me think of global thermonuclear war ‬

the Armenian space program has succeeded in its rescue mission for @voidsrus . we've established a moonbase, and now comes the planning for our Mars program 🇦🇲

so like, each Juul cart with 3-5% concentration is meant to be a pack of cigs, so what's everyone's consumption like? how fast do you go through a cart?

so i stranded @voidsrus on the moon, i should probably help save them

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