Pinned toot

Privater Deme Boundaries 

This account is mostly for close(r) friends, partners, metamours etc and so most of what I put here is either venting, gushing, or personal life stuff.

As such please assume I don't want anything without a boost button talked about outside of this account.

Other than that, if I added you here I like/trust you and don't anticipate needing to set a lotta account specific-boundaries but will update as necessary 💜

Food 

If I went outside and got a snax, what snax should I get?

Fuck this reminds me I need to update *MY* map*

*my map shows and categorizes all the food I like/dislike in my town UwU

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A crush *sends me link to a page where I can see their run on an interactive map as a humble brag/include me in it*

Me: Okay I have like 400 million questions about these sexy maps 🤤

Went up to my roof and took my mask off and it's so nice to kinda be able to breathe again in this new year

Shanah Tova

US Pol, bitter 

Imagine if we didn't have a political system where someone could pull in power by refusing to retire at a proper time, which they then use to market themselves for over a decade building up a legacy and wealth at the expense of terrifying a solid chunk of the nation's population in the process while also somehow get lauded for it

Pandemic Sicktoot 

Broke: I need to get better so my partners stop worrying about me

Woke: I need to get better so my partner and I can go back to cuddling and watching JoJo

Glad to see "trying to decide if I have time to poop before my doctor calls since she's already late" translates to telemedical calls

Y'all, my journal is pulling the weight of an IRL social circle, physical activity, and a licensed therapist right now in keeping my mental health afloat and it deserves a fucking medal

Food Distribution Rant 4 

Just like, imagine if apartment complexes did anything to foster and empower the communities they build in ways that actually make the residents' lives better

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Food Distribution Rant 3 

The complex could partner with local farmers & food producers, and create more direct systems of food procurement for the residents in bulk, which the residents then benefit from in that they can fresher produce more often, without just keeping it until it spoils

A greater control in procurement is possible this way, and more flexibility on what to do with excess produce can be decided at a community level, or at least by someone not profiting off food & food waste

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Food Distribution Rant 2 

So, for example, when it comes to food

Sure, any residents could potentially go out and get food for themselves

But generally, rather than residents having to go to the market x times a week and replenish and procure food in whatever minimal bundle farmers deem profitable that may spoil before a single person/family can use them

The complex was responsible for providing fresh produce every day -- residents just go down and get it, or it's delivered to each door

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Food Distribution Rant 1 

Imagine, if you will, that apartments weren't just a frustrating way for landlords to maximize profit under capitalism

Or for the government to house the most amount of people for the lowest cost so developers can still profit off of below market rate housing

And was used to actually provide community services & resources while creating less waste

Relationship Musings 

I'd never compare partners and crushes cause that's kinda gross and manipulative

But I like when folks who have crushes on me, esp boys, hear stories about my partners, esp Ari.

I think those stories paint a picture of how I like to be treated in a relationship, and that I am actively in tender, respectful relationships

In my head that is reassuring to folks who practice healthy relationships, and dissuading towards folks that don't 🤷

Somedays the only thing I have to say to my boyfriend is how incredibly much I miss him and it really sucks

MFW I present my job a new egg coworker and they don't appreciate him the right way

Work Harassment / HR Shittoot 

Me: complains about harassment
My HR: kinda underplays it for a few months, and asks me to be comfortable with the employee w/out changing anything
Me: I'll be comfortable if she stops harassing me
HR: do you really wanna say she commited sexual harassment
Me: No. I've been avoiding stating she committed sex-based harassment violating Title VII, which she did in the following ways
HR: ...
Me: I know, I fucking didn't want to pursue this either

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US Pol, Transmissia, Family 

Welp it's taken like, 7 years since I started posting on trans topics but one of my cousins finally engaged with my posts about it

All it took was *checks notes* POTUS reversing nationwide trans protections that ensured doctors had to fucking treat us

Are you fucking

kidding me???

Self-Esteem; Relationships; Trauma; long 5 

Which gets to the thing I'm asking:

What does it take to really get over trauma?

To see myself as valuable, to see my intuitions and feelings as valid and insightful and worth pursuing in a way that...I'm making sure I'm looking for red flags, sure, but I'm not stopping on a clear road and blue skies to dig through every pocket, and every step I took, and through the dirt to find the flags about myself and my decision making that just HAVE to be there

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Self-Esteem; Relationships; Trauma; long 4 

And how in each of those I had a point where I went "This feels...bad, do I want to be in this anymore?" And stayed.

And I guess, to me, these are all examples of times that I specifically second guessed myself in a relationship, but my original...assessment, intuition, whatever was just extremely correct

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Self-Esteem; Relationships; Trauma; long 3 

And I was kinda just wondering...was that time I made us wait *USEFUL*? Like, obviously once I asked for it respecting it was important, but like, did I actually learn something in it I didn't know already, about myself or them or our dynamic that I didn't already know?

And I'm not really sure the answer, but that made me think about relationships where bad things happened

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