I am the very model of a modern useless lesbian,
I've mastered not a single art from music to the thespian,
I can not for the life of me tell when I'm being flirted with,
The common refrain from our friends is "when will you two fucking kiss?"
I haven't learned to rust or C, can barely start a document,
I don't own swords or dogs, don't have a single lesbi-complement
and if we have a second date then most importantly of all,
I do not have a license so I can not drive our date U-haul.
In my defense,
(my lyrics are indefensible)