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espa boosted

idea - sequel to the 2005 comedy wedding crashers called funeral crashers

ignorance of the law is nine tenths of the law

light drug reference 

420 blackbirds baked

who else thinks it's a good idea to turn a treadmill into a belt sander

don't mind me, just microwaving steak like a normal person

be sure to check your attic for goblins at least twice a year
they like to eat christmas ornaments

espa boosted

stowaway on a airplane
they found me in baggage claim
stuffed inside a suitcase
but that was a decoy
mailed to my house
to do it all again

mild vent / impulsive tendencies 

I love drinking coffee after staying up all night and regretting it immediately just to do it again tomorrow

Gumbibo presents:
Gumbibo's Own Jam Fries
sweet potato fries with a melty grape jam center, salted and pepper to provide a unique taste unmatched by any other french fry

the bottom ash is the best part of the pizza

coffee and pizza are awful for acid reflux

3 full antacid tabs for it to settle down

loitering is such a bullshit crime

if I'm just chilling in a wendys parking lot let me be I'm not hurting anybody

werewolf but you turn into a skeleton instead of a wolf

bugsnax (2020) was an enjoyable experience

big binkus strikes again for the first time

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