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Shit, haiku idea:
Existence is hard
I don't wanna leave my bed
I wanna kiss girls

Interesting that putting "no kids please" in my bio stopped 15-year-old Tumblr kids trying to follow me but "I already know all the men I will ever need to" has not caused a discernible decline in the amount of men trying to do the same

Xen(e)on g(enisis)irl of the 21st ce(vangelion)ntury

Everyone talks about God's Plan

But no one wants to talk about the God Pan

Awake is overrated. When I'm asleep my life seems straightforward and my problems are easily solved, frequently by 27th-century technology or some kind of wizard.

Cartoon Network and Dove just dropping "intersex, non-binary" in their video like it's nbd.

It's so good to see this kind of representation in kids shows

@citrustwee putting illegal content up at the most boring URL possible is galaxy brain. it's the perfect crime

@citrustwee i'm selling illegal weapons and drugs on the deep web. my website?

free speech, sincere 

‪seeking investors for my boutique where I sew pockets into dresses including bullet resistant panel pockets ‬

[palpatine appears as a little hologram in my palm]

“execute order 6d6”

[i hear the sound of several dice rolling from the other side of the hologram]

“a total of 28, commander”

[i nod and deal 28 damage to the nearest Jedi, barely scratching them. i am instantly obliterated by a force push. palpatine sighs and hangs up, then dials the next clone trooper, already starting to doubt his plan]

People who aren't irony poisoned are cowards

cut my dick into pieces

that's it, that's all the joke i have

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